Bitter
by Erato Calliope Melpomene
Summary: Leah's story is a sad one that left a bitterness in her. will she ever get a happy ending? of is she destined to watch everyone around her find love while she wishes for a way out?
1. Chapter 1

_**Well, i want to know what you think. it is my first story and I'm a little nervous. i don't have a beta so please excuse the grammar errors or the spelling ones. i hope that you are still able to read it despite the mistakes. **_

_**Leah is a little bitchy in this and it sort of jumps ahead after certain events or conversations the whole story won't be like that but a beginning has to start somewhere right?**_

**Disclaimer: All Rights belong to Stephanie Meyer, and in case you haven't noticed. I'm **NOT** her...so please enjoy.** :)

Sam was gone; he had been gone for about two weeks. I wasn't sure what to make of it I didn't really know how to handle it. I didn't even want to, Sam and I had been dating for three years so it was a bit surprising that he would just up and leave for any amount of time without telling me at all. At first I was furious and part of me still was but I knew that Sam was just like that, if he needed to blow off steam then he had a right to do so without me pestering him. It didn't help that we had been fighting the day that he left. It was a surprisingly warm day at la push when he finally came back. My first instinct was to run to him. Considering the way things were left between us I didn't think it was a good idea. I knew that he would come to me when he was ready. He had gotten taller and his muscles became more defined his hair which had once been as long as Billy's was now cut close to his head. I wasn't so sure I was okay with the new look but it would grow on me as I knew that it would. That was three weeks ago though, our relationship was a little strained to say the least but we were making it work.

"Leah!" I heard her scream before I saw her face. It was Emily, my best friend and cousin. She was like a breath of fresh air with all the testosterone pumping in la push all the time.

"Emily!" I grabbed her in a huge hug after she turned the corner from the kitchen to the living room. "What are you doing here?" it wasn't that I was upset about her arrival it was more the fact that she normally called before she came for a visit. It wasn't a really long trip but it was long enough to warrant a heads up.

"I wanted to surprise you, your mom told me that Sam left and that your relationship hadn't been what it used to be. I thought I could come up and we could have a girl's night." she wore a huge smile on her Bronzed face. The thought was sweet but…

"I have plans, with Sam actually. We were going to watch movies and hang out tonight." it had taken a while to get him to want to spend alone time with me. He had always been so distant but still loving, at least for the most part.

"Oh, well I can go hang with the blacks I hear that Rachel came home last week. And you can enjoy your date." her tone was light despite the mock frown on her face. She would have been very convincing if the frown wasn't twitching as bad as it was.

"Well, the date isn't until tonight. I'm sure Sam would like to see you, it's been what 5 months since your last visit and if I recall correctly we have a game to finish." I was of course referring to capture the flag that sam, Jacob, Emily and I had started last time she was here. It was out of sheer boredom at first but then the Jacob accused Sam and me of cheating so they demanded a rematch.

"Well call them up, if they aren't to busy. I would love the chance to prove that you only won because you cheated."

"Alright give me a minute." I ran to the back of the house into my bedroom to get my cell phone. It had been a present from mom for 'good' grades. More like a bribery to stay out of any sort of trouble. Fine with me though, any reason to 'earn' a phone is a good reason. "Hey Sam?"

"What's up lee-lee?" there was a sigh on his end. I was worried for a minute that he had better things to do but I let that notion go seeing as he told me he had the day off from the shop today.

"Well, Emily came to town and she is still insisting that we cheated so I figured you would want to come prove her wrong."

"Oh? And she is convinced that we won't win again?" he asked, I was glad to hear a teasing tone in his voice. It had been a while since he joked around.

"Well that is what she said. I'm inclined to believe that she and Jacob are just sore losers."

"Call Jake and I'll meet you all on the beach." there was a playful growl in his voice and it sent tingles up my spine.

"Emily?" I shouted poking my head out the door. "Can you give me a ride to Jake's?"

"Yeah."

"Oh and Sam said your on." shrugging my jacket on I made my way to the living room where Emily stood with a pensive look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just deciding how we should gloat when we win. Do you think this is to much?" she began dancing around in my face. "We won we rock you lost you suck"

"Hmm. Come up with that on your own did you? I suppose it has a nice ring to it if your goal was to channel your inner 8 year old." I smiled.

"Bet an 8 year old could beat you." she said walking out the door. "Cheating doesn't take a lot of skill."

"And apparently loosing does." I watched her grumble as she got in her car, Emily was my older cousin but when it came to a battle of wits I always won. I was sarcastic by nature she was to straight and narrow to bend the meaning of her words but just because she couldn't do it doesn't mean she was clueless because she could read the meaning behind every double meaning phrase I throw at her. That also meant that I had the last word most of the time.

On the way to the black house I called Jacob to let him know, I was to excited to have to wait for him to get ready. Even though it only took him a minute to throw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt I mean I have never seen that boy shower. He claims he does so before bed but I guess being a girl I don't see how he can settle for one shower a day.

"Sup Leah." Jacob said pounding my fist as I got out of the car. "super nanny." he addressed Emily, when he was little Rachel would have to watch Jacob but not really having the nurturing touch she always called on Emily hence the title that sort of stuck with her. She hated it of course because it had been years since she had to baby-sit Jacob but she let it slide like so much else. "So you're ready to grant us a rematch?"

"Of course we are nothing if not fair." I rolled my eyes at the fact that even he insisted that Sam and I cheated. It wasn't a long walk from Jake's to the beach so we decided to walk.

"Good I'm your going down."

"Eh." I shrugged my shoulders giving of the vibe that it was no big deal. "You would know the feeling right? I mean you have lost every game of capture the flag to Sam and me."

"Oh right a whole 5 games."

"Five games more than you have won."

"You cheat."

"And you loose so you should stop pouting and think of a better hiding spot than under a rock." I said as we finally came to the bottom of the hill. I sat on the ground and tightened my shoe laces, Jake stretched and Emily Pulled up her hair. We only had to wait 10 minutes before Sam appeared on the top of the rocks looking down on us.

"So I hear that you want a rematch?" he was full out smiling something that he only did every so often as of late.

"Can you believe it?" I chimed.

"Well, since we are being nice enough to grant you a rematch we should get a favor in return."

"What like a bet?" came Jake's oh so astute assumption.

"No no, your parent would kill me if they found out I had you gambling but let's just say a favor. What should we ask for Lee Lee?"

"Looser has to say 'they are awesome' every time they hear the other's name."

"That's a good one but you can't tell anyone why your doing it and you have to do it for the weekend." Sam smiled as he walked toward us. "It's good to see you again Emily." he said when he reached us. Emily being a hugger ran and hugged him.

"Do you know what you put my cousin through when you disappeared?" she slapped his chest.

"Yes, I am truly s-" he stopped himself while looking at Emily. There was a look of confusion on his face but then it was unreadable. "I…I have to go."

"Sam you just got here. Emily really wants that rematch." I was confused what had happened in the span of a few minutes that would make Sam want to leave?

"I know and I'm sorry but I have to go, something…something came up." it was a lie, I knew it was a lie he wouldn't have agreed to play had he had plans.

"Whatever. You're still coming to the house tonight right?" I was annoyed but I wasn't going to let him ruin my mood.

"Yes, I'll…I'll be there." he said kissing my head and leaving.

"Well that was weird." Emily turned to face me.

"Well that is Sam since he came back from wherever the hell he was. Always disappearing and canceling at the last minute. Something always comes up."

"Oh honey."

"It's whatever; hey I bet you I can still beat you even playing by myself." I said uncovering the flags that we left buried on the beach.

"You're on."

* * *

><p>"I lost the game to those two 8 year olds." I know it was petty to whine but he left me to defend our honor and I absolutely sucked by myself. How in the hell was I suppose to keep two people from finding my flag while I guarded it? I looked up to see Sam leaning on the door frame of the kitchen. "The Spaghetti is almost ready."<p>

"Smells really good." there was that confused look again.

"Is there something wrong? I mean you have been very distant since you came back, I tried giving you space and not bringing it up hoping that you would eventually confide in me what was wrong."

"Leah, can we just…not. We are supposed to be having dinner and watching movies. Why would you bring up something that is more than likely to annoy us both." he went from calm to furious in sixty seconds.

"You're right I'm sorry I just don't like seeing you this way. You look like your being left out. When I try to include you something always comes up." I was met with silence so I brushed by him headed toward the living room. If he didn't want to talk I wasn't going to force him "fine, forget I said anything. The spaghetti is d-"

"I want to break up."

"What?" I turned to look at his face but I knew this wasn't a joke. Something in my was telling me that it was only a matter of time. I had tried so hard and I didn't want to believe that he would leave me. "Why? Was it something I did?"

"I have to go Leah." he scooted passed me out of the kitchen. I followed him with my eyes not believing what I just heard.

"So you're just going to up and leave without even telling what I did wrong? Is there another woman? Did you meet someone when you left me? Did I nag too much, I mean I can back off…Sam please." following him out of the house, it was cold but I didn't care as much as I should. "Why are you walking away from me?" he never answered me, he just kept walking until he was out of sight. How could you just ignore the person that you claimed to have love? When I was alone I could hear the hiccups in my voice, I didn't even know I had started to cry but I wasn't ashamed of the tears. My boyfriend had just dumped me giving me absolutely no reason behind his decision. I had to run back into the house to turn the stove off but even now I wasn't in the mood to eat it. It was Sam's favorite food. I had mad it just for him hoping that he would open up with me. Instead he got angry and left, maybe he just lost his temper. That was probably it, he'll be back and we'll be stronger for this. Taking a loss on tonight's date I cleaned my mess and went to bed, it was early I know but there wasn't much else to do. It was Saturday night and there was still no word at all from Sam. I thought for sure he would be over to apologize for what happened last night. I didn't get mad though because sometimes it took a while to apologize. He probably wouldn't even say the words just make up for it with roses or a picnic or something equally gushy. I let Emily have the reigns for our girls night it wasn't that I was uninterested it was more the fact that focusing all my attention on Sam I would have had her feeling depressed. We talked about it of course but that was pretty much it. Sunday cam and went and there was still no sign of Sam and Emily was leaving that day so I had absolutely nothing to keep me from thinking about him. Well other than homework but I had finished it Sunday morning so that I would be free when Sam came to apologize. When Monday night came I was convinced that he wasn't coming back. He didn't want me anymore. The hope that I had for his return was starting to dwindle and it was then that I finally let myself mope about the loss of a boyfriend of Sam. By Wednesday I was devastated and by Friday I was furious, it had been a week and he still hadn't shown up. I told myself not to waste anytime on him but how could I not, he didn't even tell me why he was leaving me so I have absolutely no clue what I did wrong. I was lying in my bed watching TV when my phone rang. If I had known what I was going to hear on the other end I would have never picked up at all.

"Leah?" she sounded upset as well but I couldn't believe it. "He just showed up here and practically begged me to go on a date with him."

"You told him no right?"

"Of course what kind of family would I be if I started seeing Sam? What he did to you was inexcusable." I know that she was more than annoyed at the fact that I basically accused her of wanting my boyfriend…ex-boyfriend.

"I know I'm just…I'm just mad. How could he leave without a reason and then decide it was okay to ask out my Cousin?"

"Don't be mad Leah, I promise that I won't be with Sam. He's yours he just doesn't realize it yet." she was comforting me but I couldn't calm down. He left me for my cousin. It made sense, he was acting really strange…well stranger than usual when Emily came to visit and then he just disappears.

"Okay Emily," I wasn't in the mood for this anymore. "Thanks for telling me but I can't deal with this right now."

"I understand. I would never hurt you you're my best friend."

"Love you Em."

"You to leah."

Weeks passed and everyday or night Emily would call or text me information on Sam and his current plan to woo her. Some of them were actually quite hilarious. I knew it was wrong to make fun of anyone no matter what they did to you but I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that he honestly believed my best friend would want him after what he did to me. I know it was petty but I was counting on Emily, part of me didn't want to see anyone with Sam but me. Like I said I know it was petty. We would talk every day about Sam and then one day the phone calls stopped then the texts followed shortly after. Something wasn't sitting right with me but I held fast to the fact that she was my family and my best friend. If anything happened she would text me at least, no matter how bad it was. Two weeks more of no contact passed and I hoped that he would give up and come back to me. My hope bloomed when I saw him at my door one Saturday night. 3 months after he had dumped me.

"Hey" I said with a slight smile.

"We need to talk."

"Yes I know." I moved to the side to allow him entrance into the room. He looked troubled but that petty part of me was rather glad at that fact. "Come in."

"Um, I'd rather stay out here. It will only take a minute." he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay…so what do you have to say?" I didn't show it but I was really worried.

"I came back to ask you to stop counting on me."

"What?" I scrunched my face up trying to make out what he meant.

"I want you to give up on us. I don't want to be with you anymore." well that was to the point.

"That's it? You came back to tell me that you don't want to be with me? You should have just stayed away."

"If I stayed away you would still have this dream that we would get back together."

"Oh, well you achieved your goal. Congrats." I turned from him so that he wouldn't see me crying. "Are you ever going to tell me why you broke up with me in the first place?"

"It doesn't really matter. I just want you to move on."

"Emily told me that you asked her out."

"I figured that she would." he honestly didn't care that he was hurting me. "Have you talked to her lately?"

"No she hasn't called me. Why?"

"Hmm…I have to go." he left not even waiting for my response asshole. That gave me something to do now. I hadn't talked to Emily in a while I figured I would tell her what he said to me, maybe she could help.

"I'll call her after I take a shower." I was thinking out loud but it didn't matter much no one was here to call me crazy. Seth was with Brady and Colin, mom and dad were out rekindling their love.

My quick shower turned into a relaxing bath and a Mani Pedi. Of course I did this by myself but even still sometimes even the worst situations can be handled with a nail job. Works better if you have someone to talk to though. Grabbing my phone off of my dresser I pushed in Emily's number and put the phone up to my ear while I started my toenails.

"Leah." her tone was tired but I figure it was probably because I woke her up. It was midnight after all and Emily had to work on Sunday nights she had probably just got into bed.

"Did I wake you?"

"No I haven't been to sleep yet."

"Oh, you sound tired. You must have had a hard shift."

"Uh…yeah. Look I have been meaning to call you I just haven't had the time."

"That's alright; you will never guess what happened today."

"What?"

"Sam came by."

"Oh…really?"

"Yeah, and he told me to give up on us. Can you believe that?"

"Oh, well it has been three months Leah. If he was going to comeback to you he would have already." it wasn't so much of a biting comment but it still hurt.

"Wait what? Where is that coming from?"

"Well, you have just been so consumed with Sam I think it would be better if you started to focus on something else. It's not really healthy to dwell like you are."

"Uh…I called you so you could help me feel better not so that I could be psycho analyzed. You're my best friend the only one I have as a matter of fact. If I don't talk things through with you then who am I going to talk with?"

"I'm sorry Leah, it's just…Sam stopped asking me out."

"Oh, I'm sorry that you had to deal with that mess. I understand why you never called. There was nothing to tell"

"No that isn't what I mean, Sam stopped asking me out because I…I said yes to him."

"You what?" I asked. How could she, I didn't hear her right. I couldn't have she would never do that to me, ever. Right?

"I am seeing Sam, and before you get mad I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you, neither did he for that matter but it just feels right with him. I asked him to talk to you so that you wouldn't keep hoping that he was coming back." she sounded sad but what about me. My best friend just stole my boyfriend.

"You sent him? He came back because you sent him?"

"I'm so sorry Leah, your like my sister I would do any-"

"Stop lying to me Emily! If you would truly do anything for me you would have never done what you are doing now."

"Can't you be happy for me?"

"Would you be happy for me if I ripped you heart out?" I practically screamed into the phone. "Have you guys been going at it behind my back? Was that the reason for your surprise visit?"

"It wasn't like that; I didn't steal him you weren't together."

"You promised me, you promised that you wouldn't be with him."

"It's a promise I regret breaking but there isn't much else I can do about it. Leah I love him."

"Yeah well so did I. we aren't sisters anymore, we aren't cousins and we aren't friends."

"Your throwing a tantrum will not change anything."

"Both of you can go to hell." I hung up; this wasn't like the other times when I would just get sad about him. My supposed best friend was dating him and she expected me to move on. I launched my phone across the room where it bang and broke against the mirror shattering it.

* * *

><p>I can't really say that I was sorry for the mood I was in since I had talked to Emily. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that my best friend betrayed me like she did. I had trouble believing that it hadn't been going one before he dumped me. It was a likelier reason than anything else I could come up with. He was gone for weeks came back distant and then Emily just shows up out of the blue, the very same night I was dumped. There were an awful lot of coincidences. She had called me a number of times but I had blocked her number I didn't want to hear from her at all. But it was as if fate had it in for me, because as time went on I became angrier and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, mom told me that Emily and Sam were Moving back to la push. To put the icing on that nice pile of shit was the fact that I had to help her move. Mom believed that Emily was right and that if they were happy I should be happy for them. We hadn't been as happy with each other as we used to be. She sided with them so she that meant she didn't want to listen to me at all. Her forcing me to help them move into their nice happy looking home was proof.<p>

"Leah, Sam and Emily are here." mom shouted from the living room.

"So" I said

"Stop being such a brat and come and say hello to your cousin." she was yelling with her back turned to me unpacking groceries so she didn't see me walk behind her. I was going to make a rather rude comment before I laid eyes on the two people I wished I could never see again. She was smiling and he looked like he used to with me. That made me want to cry but I wasn't that Leah anymore they don't get the pleasure of seeing me cry because of them anymore.

"I'm out here." I growled. "Can I leave now?"

"Is that anyway to talk to your favorite cousin." Emily asked running and throwing her arms around me. She was probably shocked when I pushed her arms off of me.

"I told you before over the phone but since you're here maybe it will sink in…Go to hell."

"Leah!" mom wore a look of pure fury but it didn't even scare me, I was way to angry to care about her punishments. "Apologize."

"No." I said walking towards the door Sam blocked my way though.

"Your mother is right you are being a spoiled brat."

"If that is suppose to make me apologize then you might want to try a new tactic." pushing his arm off of me I started towards the door again.

"Are you really going to hold this against me forever?" I heard Emily ask behind my back. "If so then you are being really petty. The Leah I knew, my little cousin would never hold a grudge she was to carefree to do that."

"Well the Emily I knew would have never done what you did."

"I said that I was sorry."

"I don't want you're sorry, I was counting on you and your promise to me. Of all the promise you could break you choose that one."

"I'm not sorry for loving him though, I'm sorry for how it happened. He doesn't want to be with you anymore and I'm not going to let you make me feel bad about being with him."

"Whatever, Emily. Are you done or are you going to continue to guilt trip me? It has never worked before so I'm not sure it'll work now."

"I hope that one day you'll understand."

"I thought that I was suppose to be helping the backstabbing cousin and her lying boyfriend move in not to be interrogated for being angry." I was asking mom but of course Sam had t open his mouth.

"If this is how it's going to be all day then I rather you not."

"Well it's no skin off my back." I said walking out the front door. They could have each other but I was still pissed at them, couldn't they have stayed away, I mean wasn't enough that they were together but they had to move back so they could flaunt it? Then they expected me to be happy for them? There was absolutely no way possible.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Okay i know that it is a little OOC but considering that Leah's cousin wound up with Sam right after they broke i figured her being this pissed was natural. i would be just as angry had it happened to me cousin or not. please review and tell me what you think.<em>**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Well, i guess this wasn't as well liked as i had hoped that it would be. but i'm not going to give up on it just yet. so here is the next chapter. **_

_**the usual disclaimers apply.**_

* * *

><p>To say that being around the 'happy' couple was hard was an understatement. I had taken to spending as much time at the school as possible. It was only November but it was getting closer to Christmas and I wasn't looking for it. I wish that I could just go away. Ever since Sam started dating Emily, Jake and I had gotten close. We even noticed that more boys from the reservation were hanging around Sam. It was like he was some gang leader. They had never done anything wrong but there were always bonfires and cookouts that only they were invited to. Like I said though it was fine with me.<p>

"I am so freaking bored." Jake had been staying the weekend with me well, he spent the whole weekend with me almost all the time. If the reservation didn't know about his crush on Chief swan's daughter then they would think we were a couple. Jake is a sweet kid and all but no…just…no. "Sam's gang is having another freaking bonfire."

"Yeah, I know but I mean if you want to go ask Emily." I was bored to; it showed because that sentence would have never left my mouth otherwise. "No, scratch that. If you go anywhere near them they might recruit you and make you the newest member of their little gang."

"Like hell, I want absolutely nothing to do with them. I still think it is fuck up what he did and the fact that everyone can overlook it pisses me off more."

"Tell me about it." I began flipping through the channels on the TV trying to find a movie to watch. Of course there was nothing but it occupied my time for at least five minutes. "I'm soooo fucking booorrred."

"Let's go crash the party." Jake looked extremely happy about his idea, I will give it to him it was a very good idea.

"What will we get out of crashing their party? I mean everyone knows that I don't want to be there." we sat thinking for a while. It was only 7 and it was just getting dark. Hmmm… "Hey jake?" I nudged him.

"Huh?" he was looking back at me from his position on the bed.

"Only you can prevent forest fires."

"What?"

"Have you never seen a Smokey the bear commercial? They are having a bonfire. What better way to crash their party than water balloons?"

"Sneaky."

"Yeah well we will have to be…Sam has a very good sense of hearing so we have to launch from afar…blend in with our surrounding. I figure we have about 20 minutes to get ready." I said gathering things from my closet. "We will wear black, and I'll go get leaves and stuff for our costumes. You have to fill the water balloons. I think I still have some under the sink…leave the pack though so we can have an alibi."

"You are very conniving."

"I prefer to think of it as stealth."

"Yeah yeah, and I'm a ninja."

"You're wasting time. Go fill balloons and sandwich bags tie them tight and put them in a grocery bag." When our twenty minutes passed we had 3 bags of balloons and three bags of the little sandwich bags full of water. Jake and I were now putting on our costumes and our face paints. "Now remember you can't say a word once we see the fire. I'm going to throw rocks and things to distract them enough so that we can get close enough to launch the water balloons. Stay close to the trees so that if they are on to us then we can climb it."

It was a foolproof plan, of course they would know we did it but we weren't going to provide them with proof. This had been a prank of our since we were little. We were wiser now and could prevent getting caught…I hope. The closer to the bonfire we got the faster our adrenaline was pumping. We were close enough to distract have to distract them. I pick up rather small rocks so that when they hit it would sound more like someone walking rather than rocks being thrown. Throwing them was almost as fun as I'm sure dosing them with water would be. Every one was looking away from us so we decided to bein with the Balloons. Water was going everywhere and they were all looking around and growling.

"Whose there?" Sam Growled.

"Trees." I mouthed to Jacob. We started climbing but Dumbass slipped.

"Their in the trees." I heard another shout.

"Damn it Jake." I couldn't do much else but continue climbing.

"I know your there, so come down."

"Don't say a word. Switch trees." I growled.

"I can't, I don't have another branch."

"Take mine." I began trying to swing to the next branch but it was to far away. It happened in slow motion or at least it felt like it. I was falling. I wasn't too high up but I knew that I wouldn't land on unhurt. I had fallen from a fair share of trees growing up. "Damn." I hit the ground with a loud thump. The wind was knocked out of me but that was the least of my worries. I was now in the middle of Sam's gang and the dowsed bonfire.

"Leah!" Jake shouted.

"Way to blow my cover asshole. I gasped clutching my chest. He jumped down out of the tree to scoop me off the ground.

"The water balloons?" Sam looked like he wanted to cause me serious pain; to bad the ground beat him to it.

"Leah, are you alright?" Emily was trying to make her way to me but jake had me wrapped tightly in his arms.

"Leave her alone. She's fine." Jake was just as angry for getting caught. "We got to get you back to the house,"

"Ow, Shit." he was crushing my elbow to him when he started to walk and the pain was excruciating. "I fucked up my arm Jake."

"Give her to me; she needs to be seen by a doctor." Sam was still growling as he pulled me to his chest.

"I'm fine, pr I will be once I get home and take a pill or something." I was struggling but I couldn't get out of his hold. That was the last place I wanted to be. With him, in his arms his warmth was enough of a reminder of the moments we shared but his scent drove me crazy. "Please put me down." I know it was pathetic to whimper but I couldn't find any strength in me. I felt weak with him; it was that weakness that sparked anger in me. I was mad that he could move on but I was stuck pining after him.

"I'm taking you to the doctor. Paul you and the other's clean the pit. Jacob you should help them since you ruined the fire." there was a tone in Sam's voice that was more commanding than I had ever heard before. It was almost so strong that even I wanted to follow his orders. I'm not so sure where the urge came from but I was glad that I was being restrained or I would have looked like an idiot.

"Look, Sam. I'm not in your little gang. You can't order me around like you do the others." Jake was furious. If it was one thing he hated it was being told what to do. Well mostly being bossed around by another man. I'm sure had Emily asked him he would have done it with no problem.

"Just do it Jake, we're already going to get in trouble." I sighed still in Sam's arms but trying to distract myself from noticing to often how firm his chest and arms were.

"Fine, call me as soon as you get home Leah." Jake was a huge softie…well he was if you had a pair of tits.

The walk from the fire pit to his care was a fairly long and awkward one. I tried my best to look dignified, well as much as I could in the arms of the Ex-boyfriend that I was still hopelessly in love with. It was comical and I'm sure if my arm didn't feel like it was falling off I would have crossed them over my chest. It was my signature 'bitch' move, or so jake liked to tell me.

"Why did you do that Leah?" Sam sat me down in the passenger side of his care. "I understand that you are angry but this petty stuff between us has to stop. You'll be graduating this year. I'm sure that you'll want to go away to college and see the world. So this," he gestured between us "what we had shouldn't make you bitter."

"Get over yourself Sam Uley. What happened tonight was just a prank. I would have done it even if we were still dating. And I'm not bitter about the ending of our relationship I'm pissed at they way you decided to end it." I had to fight the urge not to cry. "you leave for two weeks, when you get back you agree to try and make us work then three weeks after that you dump me without even telling me what was going wrong." the tears were threatening to pour so I turned to look out the window not wanting to let him see me cry. "Do you know how fucking Low I felt? But I had hoped you would be back, that it was something personal that you didn't know how to work out."

"It was something personal, but it wasn't you that I needed to work it out with."

"Right because it was my cousin you wanted. She called me every day reassuring me that she'd get you to come back. To talk it through with me and that we'd be happy again. Then you show up crushing any hope I had left that you still wanted me. I go to my Cousin, my only friend for help only to find out that she's with you. Don't you think I have the right to be bitter sam? Don't you think I have the right to never want to be near either of you again?"

"When you put it that way…"

"What other way is there to put it?"

"You don't know the entire truth behind it."

"And you won't tell me so how else am I suppose to react without seeing a bigger picture? Am I supposed to accept that it was for the better? We were talking about getting married before sam. You know how big of a deal that was to me."

"You have no idea how much I regret hurting you. I wish that I could take it back, all the way back to the day I left the first time. I would have never fought with you I would still be with you."

"Don't do that…Don't say stuff like that. You make me feel like you still want me and I know you don't. You don't get to have it both ways. I want you, I loved you. I still love you and the sad thing about all of this is I would take you back after all that you did to me I would take you back without any questions. I wouldn't be the same as I was before but I would try." I couldn't help but to look at his reaction when I told him that. He looked shocked but it also looked like he understood. "But you don't want to come back do you? You honestly don't want me back?"

"Leah…Don't."

"Please answer me."

"No, I love Emily. She is the one for me. I wish that I could say otherwise so that I could keep you from feeling like this. From hating the world but I can't."

"I thought so, but like I said you can't have it both ways. You either love me and want to be with me or you love her and want to be with her. You chose her so you can't expect me to be happy for you."

"It isn't that simple. Part of me will always love you."

"But the bigger part of you will always love her. Maybe one day I'll find a way to be happy for you but right now I just can't. You can't ask that of Me." the tears were rolling like bullets down my face but I didn't care at that point this was the last civil conversation that I would have with sam. I knew that I should talk to Emily but to me her betrayal was worse, she led me on let me believe that I still had a chance with him while she was falling in love with him and wanted him for herself. Sam had at least broken up with me before he went after another woman. I don't think I could have handled it if he had actually cheated on me.

"We're here." he got out and opened the door for me. I was angry that he still found a way to be a gentleman.

* * *

><p>It was officially the most boring yet excruciatingly painful holiday season ever. I had been grounded after the water balloon fiasco, my mother had been furious shouting and pointing fingers at me because I supposedly interrupted a tribal meeting and she actually got mad at me because I had pulled a muscle in my arm. Any other time I wouldn't mind being grounded as much but this time her genius idea was to get me talking to Emily again. She made sure that I was around to help Emily with everything she could have possibly needed help with. It was weird to say the least; we wound up not getting much done because I couldn't be in the same room with her without starting a fight. Currently we were trying to cook the holiday feast.<p>

"Can you pass the pepper?" I was covered up to my elbows in stuffing.

"My hands are a little full Leah." she was a little irritated at me but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was hoping she would get mad enough to tell me to leave. That of course was not the case, if she was going to tell me leave she would have done so already I still had hope though.

"I'm sure you are, Remember when we saw a live turkey?" it was a simple statement but it had to be made.

"yeah I remember, your dad woke us up at like 4 in the morning told us that since he didn't have any sons he was going to teach us the ins and outs of nature." she was smiling and I couldn't help but smile at the memory. I was five and Emily was eight it was the best day ever despite being in the cold and the stench that the animal put off. "Yeah, we both decided that the turkey was our favorite, your dad gave us a bunch of seed and they all came and tried to peak at our hands. You dropped the seeds and ran."

"Yeah, I did. You had so many around you. You grabbed my hand and told me how to hold it so that it wouldn't hurt. We spent about three hours feeding them."

"That was awesome."

"It was until you helped dad kill them, do you remember that? How you continued to feed and stroke them, talking nonsense like they were pets while dad brought the machete down on their necks."

"They were for dinner Leah what did you want me to do? And you certainly weren't complaining afterwards."

"No, I guess not. Although at the time I didn't know how much I had in common with the turkey."

"Leah…" it was a warning but I had to continue. I couldn't let her think I was actually talking to here because I was trying to over look the past.

"We were both lured into a sense of security by you then our feet were knocked out from under us. Funny how I didn't notice that before. Because not only did you stab me in the back you helped me feel safe while you were doing it and I'm sure you expected all the blame to be laid solely on Sam since he was the one that persuade you."

"Look there are things about Sam that you don't understand."

"No, but then again I was never given the chance." I was done I had worked myself up to the point of tears which hadn't been my plan but if it got me out of here then I couldn't be to upset. I didn't know where I was going but I knew that I couldn't stay there. I took off just running wherever my legs would take me it didn't surprise me much when I found myself standing outside a makeshift cabin like tree that I had made when I was a little girl. I had made it when mom told me that she was pregnant with Seth. I didn't want a brother, if I had one then I wouldn't be daddy's little tyke anymore. I abhorred being called a princess when I was little; I was a tomboy to the core. Most of it was dad's fault but he mom never had the heart to tell him to stop treating me like a son. I had stayed hidden in my little cabin for week. I had food and I wasn't afraid of the dark so being here at night never bothered me. They had the entire rez looking for me. When I had felt at ease with the whole situation I calmly walked home grabbed a bowl of cereal and watched cartoons waiting for my parents to get home. When they did I was in a world of trouble, but it never stopped me from coming back here when things were bad. This was one of those times; I couldn't deal with any of this anymore there was too much going on in my life. It was closer to midnight when I made my way back to my house.

"Where the hell have you been? You are grounded and your suppose to be helping Emily get ready for dinner. You uncle and his new wife are coming and your off doing god knows what." mom was mad but I couldn't really find it in myself to care.

"Why do you want me to make up with her so badly? Do you not care what she did to me?"

"How long are you going to punish her for something that is out of her control? Sometimes fate puts people in our lives but how they enter it isn't always how the remain. Life is a cycle things change, it hurts now but it will get better eventually. The least that you could do is help the process along. One day you are going to need your cousin and she will be reluctant to help you."

"That's crap and you know it."

"Fine you don't want to here it that way? Then how about this…grow up Leah Clearwater so Sam left you and your cousin is dating him, get over it. You are going to face a lot harder things when you grow up and if this is how you deal with the most insignificant of them then I am really scared for you."

"Thanks mom. Nothing like tough love." I spat sarcastically. "If you need me I'll be in my room."

"You will not you will be over at Emily's apologizing. She was in tears all afternoon Sam was so upset when he came over"

"Why would I do that though? I'm not sorry and I don't give a damn how upset sam is." I didn't give her a chance to say anything else to me as I walked to my room and shut my door.

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><p>I spent two days holed up in my room until mom and dad both forced me out of the room for holiday dinner. I had wanted to see Uncle Kale but I didn't know if I could do it, I knew that I had absolutely no choice. Dinner was going surprisingly well, I had managed to keep my comments to myself. I had gotten to see Uncle Kale get unbelievably drunk and I was actually happy for a while.<p>

"Well, I would like to thank all you for coming and spending time with us on you holiday, what ever it is that you personally celebrate dinner is universal." Sam said smiling, I could bet you anything that he had been told by Emily to say that. "I am also glad that I could share this moment with my family and the guys that have become like brothers to me in this short period of time." he turned towards Emily and I knew immediately what was about to happen. I wanted so badly to harp off a comment and ruin this moment but I couldn't. My mouth was dry but my eyes were not. Not even a little bit. "You have helped me understand myself a great deal in the last 5 months and I am very glad to have someone like you with me. I love you with all of my heart and I hope that you will do me the honor of becoming Mrs. Samuel Uley." those were the words that I had longed for him to have said to me for a long time. Seeing this though cemented the fact that he was really in love with my cousin. Once again, she has been able to charm something from me. It hurt, a lot and it took me a moment to realize that she had said yes. They were getting married, the man I loved and the woman I used to call my best friend were getting married. When I felt as though I wouldn't pass out I quietly excused myself from the table and made my way home.

"What's wrong Leah?" I hadn't been paying attention to where I was going so I wasn't all that surprised that I bumped into anyone. "You look upset."

"It's nothing, if you count having to watch the guy your in love with propose to your cousin." it was meant as a joke but it was too soon for jokes I guess because the only thing that I managed to do was make myself start sobbing.

"OH, Leah." Jake wrapped his arms around me. "Embry Quil and I are going to sneak to the beach and get wasted. I few shots would do you some good."

"I don't drink Jake."

"Well, I don't know if you noticed or not but you don't really cry but you have been doing that a lot lately too." he was right, in the last few months I had been crying about one thing or another. Part of me knows that I shouldn't be drinking but there have been quite a few things that I shouldn't do that I have done since this whole thing has taken place.

"Sure, Lead the way." we walked for a while before we reached the beach. It was freezing but I didn't care as it helped to take my mind off things and the alcohol would help once we started drinking it. "So how does it work? You just decide to guzzle down a beer or two?"

"Well, there's that or we could guzzle down these." Quil looked smug as he pulled three bottles of svedka out of his bag.

"Or these" Embry said pulling out a bottle of Smirnoff and a bottle of Apple Bacardi. "Jake told me told me that you might be joining us so I got something a little girly for you."

"Okay, 1 how did you know that I would be here tonight? And 2 where did you get all of this?"

"answer to number one is I had actually planned it anticipating you would want a drink after being put through dinner with your family and everyone drooling over how happy they look." didn't take a genius to know who they were.

"You knew he was going to propose?"

"No, I didn't."

"Okay, answers question two."

"Well, that my dear Leah is a secret we couldn't have you getting a conscious and snitching now can we?"

"I'm not a snitch Black." I plopped down on the damp sand and watched as Embry took out shot glasses and filled them to the top. He paused at the last I knew it was a silent question as to which one I would prefer. "Don't they all pretty much taste like shit going down?"

"Pretty much" Quil shrugged as Embry filled the last one with the svedka.

"This is so twisted I'm being corrupted by kids."

"Hey watch it we are not kids, we are teenagers." Embry was while he handed everyone a drink, I would have taken his deep voice seriously if he hadn't stuck his tongue out at me to punctuate his statement.

"Mature."

"Glad you finally recognize it. Now I would like to make a toast." there was a pregnant pause as Embry pondered what to toast. "To the four of us, the La Push outcasts. May everyone that crosses us suffer Quil's threatening presence, My Right hook, Jake's uhm… his uh…"

"My tai Kwan doe."

"Right Leah's conniving wrath."

"I'll definitely drink to that." I said with a laugh tipping my drink and taking it all down before the taste could register. The others looked at me in shock. "Did I do it wrong?"

"No, we are just wondering how much hair you have on your chest after that?" Jake laughed.

"Excuse me?"

"It's a figure of speech, I don't know why people say it I just know that people say it after a rather strong shot without a chaser."

"Well, I have no Hair on my chest I'll have you know." I said taking another shot. We had gone around taking shots and talking shit for about an hour and I was certainly feeling the effects of something. When I looked at Jake all I could do was bust out laughing. "Your hair is so freaking long." I was rolling on the ground clutching my sides.

"Whoa….whoa whoa…leavshaairlone" he slurred. Throwing a stick at me, it only served to make me laugh harder when it missed me by a lot.

"I'm sorry what." I sat up so that I could see his face; I had to see what he looked like while he was slurring his words. I was willing to bet he looked as funny as his hair.

"I say, nothing….wrong wif my hair. If icut it I would look like…Sam." their was a growl at the end of that mess he called a sentence but I couldn't do more than laugh at him. "Bish"

"Embry, wasa Bish?" Quil asked confused as I was rolling on the ground laughing.

"Leah!" Embry answered as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"Yeah well at least I have titties."

"So just because you have titties and I don't doesn't mean that you need to act all superior and what ever." embry was upset about the fact that he didn't have titties.

"Dude, you're a dude you aint suppose to have titties."

"What? Oh…fuck you Leah."

"Eh, maybe after another shot." I shrugged.

"You're serious?"

"Well, I was but you haven't poured my shot yet." it only took a second for him to pour my shot albeit he spilled half of it on my arm. "Thanks dude."

"Now, you're going to have sex with me?" he pouted and tilted his head to the side. He truly looked like a puppy.

"Yes." I was laughing the entire time I made my way over to him. "Now, can any of you walk?"

"I can." Jake stood and tried to take a few steps I couldn't help but laugh again as he fell face first into the sand. "Never mind."

"Well, I know I can't." Quil smiled.

"Well I know I can't either, Embry?"

"I can walk. Why?"

"Well I am most definitely not having sex in front of these two." I gestured.

"Oh, I can help you over to those rocks."

"Mkay." I was laughing the entire time that we made our way to the most secluded place that we could get to. Sure, anyone could have come up behind us and saw us but I didn't care. I honestly couldn't find it in me to care after all that I had been through. "Are we there yet?"

"Mhmm" he was kissing my neck and I was beginning to feel a bit tingly from my head to my toes. "Clothes off now."

"Very articulate." I snorted. "And romantic." sarcasm always helps.

"Mmm…all I heard was a bunch of talking when I really only want to hear the sounds of zippers and button."

"Buttons don't make noise."

"Well your mouth shouldn't be doing so either." he continued kissing my neck as he unbuttoned his own shirt. When we were both topless, he pushed me to the sand and fell on top of me.

"Ouch."

"Shh…"

"Mkay." I said feeling his chest. "Oh my god…" I was screeching and grabbing his chest disbelievingly.

"What? What is it?" I heard Jake shout from the other side of the rock.

"He doesn't have titties." I shouted back.

"He's not suppose to," Quil answered.

"Right, okay…assume the potion Call." I mumbled into his mouth after pulling his lips back to me.

* * *

><p>When I opened my eyes the first thing I noticed what how much I wanted to close them again and I would have had I not felt a breeze blow on me. Cracking my eyes only enough to see my surrounding I could make out that I was laying in the freezing sand at first beach. "What the…" it was as if those were trigger words because as soon as I said them memories of the previous night came rushing back. When I could finally recall everything that happened, I snapped upright only just noticing that there was an arm restraining me. "Wake the Fuck up Call." I was in a very snappy mood today and of course when Leah snaps you do whatever the fuck it is that she wants you to do.<p>

"Will you stop fucking screaming my head hurts." he growled back rolling over and throwing his arm over his eyes.

"I'm fucking naked at the beach in the middle of winter after having done god knows what with you."

"We had sex." he stated not removing his arm from his eyes.

"Thank you captain fucking obvious. I'm surprised that we didn't freeze to death."

"eh." was his answer, and I was getting more pissed by the minute. Deciding not to finish this conversation, I tried to stand only to get extremely nauseas and fall back down to the ground. "I tried that already or else you wouldn't have woken up on the beach we would have been in someone's house. I figured sam and his gang would come to find us."

"What? Are you an idiot, if sam found us we would be in shitloads of trouble. I don't care how much the fucking sky is spinning we have to get up and hide the alcohol." I was scrambling and despite my words, my movements were slow or at least they felt pretty slow to me. "Jake! Quil" it hurt my head to yell but we had to hurry.

"I see Jake." I heard someone yell from a distance. Fuck! This is not what I need right now. I still had to put my clothes on and I didn't have time to do both.

"Embry, put your clothes on." us getting caught drunk, or with hangovers was the lesser of two evil if you compare it to getting caught drunk and naked with a guy you wouldn't give a second thought to. "Hurry I heard someone coming." that got a rise out of him but I could hear our rescuers yelling at Jake. I was silently glad that jake could be just as stubborn as me at that moment. We hurriedly put our clothes while trying to remain hidden. I will tell you one thing those that do this as a hobby every weekend and then jump out of bed the next morning as if it weren't a problem are strong people. Half of The time I was getting dressed, I couldn't make out whether I was putting my clothes on right and I couldn't get the damn ground to stay still.

"…That was irresponsible of you…you could have frozen to death…" I was able to hear bits and pieces of the argument going on between one of Sam's lackeys and Jake. "You can come out now Leah."

"I'd rather not." I grumbled back.

"Leah, get out here Now!" damn mom had sent Sam.

"Go away; don't you have a wedding to plan or something?"

"I am tired of dealing with this petty shit from you Leah; you are a grown woman start acting like it. I mean can you honestly blame me for not wanting to be with you when you act like this." ouch that hurt more than anything that had ever happened since he dumped me. He's never thrown it in my face like that before. It only served to goad my anger and before I could think rationally, I stood up from behind the rocks without having put my shirt back on.

"How long have you wanted to say that to me? Alternatively, is Emily the only reason you haven't? You know, I really don't know why I am beating myself up about you, you're like any other guy. They come a dime a dozen."

"Is that why you slept with embry?"

"It's really none of your business, so I'll but out. You made it very clear that you don't want me, that I'm to petty for you so I could screw every fucking guy on the Rez and you would have absolutely no say in it." I snatched my shirt out of Embry's hand and stormed back up the hill towards home. I was in trouble but what else was new?

* * *

><p><em><strong>i hope you liked it and to answer a question that i'm sure your probably wondering about...they didn't freeze to death because even though they don't show any other signs of phasing their body temperature is a little warmer than non wolves but slightly cooler than the phased wolves. that is why no one really notices and that is the reason for being able to do something that would have probably killed your normal human. anyway hope you enjoyed,<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Sorry this is a little shorter than the first two chapters but if i would have kept it going it wouldn't have sounded right. but anyway...the usual disclaimers and i hope you enjoy.**_

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><p><em><strong>Before you read on, i know that it says Leah and billy in the summary so let me just say that i'm mostly writing a leah billy story becasue i didn't see many up, well that and the fact that when i started writing this i had every intention of putting her with Embry but it's been done...a lot so i didn't, well that and the fact that i had a dream of Billy or the guy that plays him and i think he's hot in his own way. it's only the third chapter though so that could change. eh...well on with the story.<strong>_

* * *

><p>The first of the year began the countdown to the wedding, Sam had wanted to get married right away but Emily thought it was best to have a yearlong engagement, mostly because she wanted to be married on Christmas day. It was so freaking romantic that I wanted to throw up. Everywhere I went there were people going on and on about the wedding of the year. Being on the reservation makes us a little tighter nit than the average town so we actually grew up in groups and because of this reason, there hasn't been many wedding that have taken place. More importantly there haven't been and huge traditional weddings with the mixture of both the modern and Quileute culture making Emily's the wedding of the last 20 years at least. I was angry all the time because it was suppose to me, don't get me wrong I'm over the fact that Sam doesn't want me I'm just not over him. After I had been caught down at the beach with embry I had been made to help with the counsel as community service. Mom made it her mission to keep me from doing anything remotely fun, but the fact that she could finally grasp that I didn't want to be anywhere around Emily lessened my anger towards her and her complete acceptance of this situation. The whole thing with the counsel though, was another thing entirely. Sam was part of the counsel and I was suppose to be following him around and doing pretty much anything he asked of me. At first, I thought I could get away with walking away from him as I had Emily but when I actually tried, it was I was shocked to find that it didn't work. He didn't chase after me, actually he continued doing whatever it was he was doing. When I had calmed down some, I had made my way back home. I could see the front door open, mom was forking food onto two plates at first I was excited because it was lasagna but then I saw her hand the other plate to Sam. I shook it off because I could easily make my own plate and ignore them both while I ate; it was when I reached the screen door that things started confusing me. It was locked, I banged on it and asked to be let in but they ignored me and continued eating. Eventually I gave up and just sat on the porch, I hadn't noticed that Sam sat next to me until I turned to look through the front door. He told me that mom wouldn't let me in until I had done my work and done it right. Suffice to say that it was hard as hell to clean trash off the beach in the dark but I couldn't stop or I would have to sleep outside. Stupidly I asked what would happen if I didn't finish and he told me I could just sleep on the beach again since I seemed to have been able to handle it before and walked away leaving me to fend for myself. It took until one in the morning to finish. Then the fucker had nerve to show up at four in the morning saying that I needed to help in the stables. I hadn't tried to run away from him anymore after that, I couldn't so I just ignored him best I could.<p>

"Earth to Leah." Embry was waving a hand in my face. He had been hanging out with me a lot more since the incident that landed me as Sam's faithful follower. I was a little guilty because it had been 3 months since then and I could tell that his feeling for me weren't merely physical, he liked me. We joked about falling in love with each other while we fooled around but we were never official and he would never say the words I know he wanted to say. I didn't want keep using him but there was no other way to do this. I had tried to distance myself from him but it never worked out as well as I would have hoped, we always wound up in each other's bed. I had told him thought that we could be nothing more than this and though his agreement was reluctant he agreed.

"What? I'm sorry I was spaced out." I was still a little breathless but it was to be expected after having sex.

"Am I that bad?" he was joking but it was an ego play, he wouldn't admit that either but he was somewhat hurt that I was spaced out during sex.

"No, it's not you really…I was just thinking that maybe what we are doing isn't such a good idea." I brushed some of his hair out of his face. He was really rather beautiful, he had the prettiest eyes that I have ever seen and he had the looks of an dangerous guy but if you knew him you'd know how far from that he actually was.

"We have been over this to many times already, I like this. Unless of course you really want to be away from me."

"you're a good friend Embry but I don't feel right about using you." he was kissing my stomach and I had to admit it was hard to utter those words when the only thing I wanted to do was give up and give in.

"I don't' know what your talking about." the skin of my thigh smothered his words.

"I'm serious Embry; I can see it in your eyes. You may not be willing to admit it to me but I have been there, hell I'm still there unrequited love is shitty." it was harsh but it got him to pause and it wasn't as though the words were lies. "I'm not in love with you."

He straddled my waist and sat quietly for what seemed like hours just staring into my eyes. "Who said I was in love with you? I'm only sleeping with you because it was something to do."

"Look there is no need to be harsh about this, I like you Embry or else I wouldn't be this selfish but I am not head over heals in love with you." tracking my hand up his thigh. "I love what we have but I'm not in love with you."

"Wow, I actually feel like a bitch right now. Isn't that how I'm suppose to let you down?" it wasn't a joke at all but it did sound funny when I thought about it.

"Please don't be mad, I would be mad at myself if I let this continue with you thinking there was a chance for this to turn into something it won't ever be."

"You don't know that, I mean sure your not over Sam but your going to have to move on at some point. I mean I don't mind being your rebound." he was desperate and hurt; I had gotten to know him enough to read that deep into his words.

"I couldn't do that to you."

"Damn it Leah you already have been. I mean I know we aren't boyfriend girlfriend but you don't do this shit with Jake and Quil so there has to be something there." he through his leg over me and rolled onto his back. "You know what, yeah I love you. I'm head over fucking heels in love with you and I don't even know why. I am a sucker for punishment though because every time you try to push me away I would find a way back. I'm no idiot I know that you have been trying to keep your feelings out of this, but is it so wrong to get attached to someone else?"

"No, but I couldn't handle it if you finally found someone that completes you like Sam did."

"I'm not sam, I would never do that."

"That's something you never know. I am not ready to give myself to someone like that again; a physical relationship is easier to bounce back from."

"So you'll keep doing this? We don't have to stop?" he looked like a freaking eager puppy.

"We can keep seeing each other Embry but I hope for everyone's sake that neither of us gets hurt because of this." The hard and passionate kiss was the only answer that I got which was fine with me; I shrugged and kissed him back.

I had to sneak out of his house early so that his mother wouldn't see me. She had heard about my bad influence on him and had forbid me from being with him. Which was another reason we both started this crap up in the first place. I didn't mind leaving so early though because I had to meet Sam at his and Emily's house. This was my last day of community service and I was extremely excited to be done and not have to report to sam every morning at the crack of down or sometimes before. I was there in record time and I couldn't help but smile at the prospect of not having to do this anymore despite who I had to see. As per usual, I didn't have to knock on the door because Sam was waiting on the porch for me.

"Morning Leah." he greeted still dislike him but like I said last day it couldn't hurt to be nice.

"Sam." I nodded. "So what do you have for me today?" I could tell that my mood radiated outward and that he saw it.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a while." he gestured for me to move into the house.

"Yeah well the last day of servitude. Who wouldn't be happy?"

"Oh. Well at least you're happy about something even if it is about being away from me."

"Let's not ruin the good mood by talking about that. I'm still pissed as hell about it but I'm trying to concentrate on something different."

"okay." he watched me warily as I sat down at the table after he offered the seat to me.

"So…what is it that I have to do today?"

"Um, well it was your mom's idea but I agree with it."

"Spit it out Sam."

"Well, it's two things really. And it's an ultimatum."

"What is it?" I couldn't help but get a little ticked off at the fact the he was beating around the bush.

"One, you have to talk to Emily." well, I should have known as soon as he said that my mother had input. "The second Emily will have to talk with you about."

"Fine, where is she?" I sighed.

"You're not going to put up a fight?"

"I don't have enough information to fight against." it was true, there would be no need for me to get all worked up over nothing. After all I had made it up in my head that I would at least let here know what the root of my problems with her were if she were to ask. I was trying so hard to take the high road. What sam said back when he caught me on the beach, how I was immature and that was why he didn't want me hurt more than I have ever admitted to anyone but Embry. I wanted to try to change for the better; I cold loathe them cordially as the elders did the Cullen's. "So where is she?"

"Right here, I had to finished getting dress." _no comments leah, the high road_…I sighed wanting nothing more than to through a fit at them about how I didn't want to hear what they did in their home. It would have been immature because she hadn't implied that she did anything with him but the thought of her needing to get dressed meant that she was undressed at some point and that sam had seen it…_stop it leah you are going to make yourself angr_y. "I'm so happy you decided to talk to me, I miss my friend. This hasn't been the same. I haven't really had anyone to talk to since Sam and I got together. Believe it or not you were my only best friend too."

I didn't know what to say to her, she was still under the impression that I wanted to be involved in her life when it was so closely linked with Sam's. Grudge or no grudge I couldn't do it, I still loved sam. "Okay…"

"Oh, um…anyway. I figured it was time to try to get over this." she paused gauging my reaction but I was determined to prove that I could face this without blowing up. "I want my cousin back. You are closer to me than my sister."

"Okay…" I mean what else could I say without snapping at her.

"Is that all you're going to say?" she asked as she sat down in the chair beside me turning so that she was facing me. Sam was sitting across from me playing mediator I guess.

"Um, what else should I say?"

"That you forgive me." she was pleading and part of me actually felt a little ashamed that I had her basically begging me to forgive her.

"I…I would only be lying." I was beginning to get uncomfortable.

"But it has been a long time Leah, who am I suppose to turn to?"

"Your sister?" I could feel Sam's gaze burning a hole in the side of my head.

"Leah, please…I miss you."

"Can we not do this, I mean I know that I agreed to talk to you but I can't do this. I had been doing a fine job of pushing all this to the back of my mind but your pulling it up and bringing with it every reason why I should hate you." it was the truth and I was finally glad to get it off my chest.

"You hate me?"

"No, not anymore I should but I don't. I dislike you so much that anyone would mistake it for hate but I don't actually hate you. Now are you going to tell me the other parts to this ultimatum?" We were silent as Emily looked at sam like she was communicating with him telepathically. I could just make out the tears in her eyes that she was refusing to shed.

"Well, talking to me was the first part, and the second is…well I had hoped that this conversation would have gone better but the second request is that you be my maid of honor."

She was kidding; she had to be kidding right? There was no way I could do it. "No…" there was a hysterical edge to my voice.

"No?"

"No, no…no hell no…no why…why would you even…no no." yes, definitely hysteria. "Oh my…you're joking right? This is a joke it has to be." I rose from my chair. "Of all the people that would willingly be your maid of honor…never mind the fact that I wouldn't want to even be at the wedding let alone…no…fuck!"

"You don't really have a choice." sam said impassively. "It's either that or have your community service extended and I'd probably have you help with the wedding anyway since it's counsel sponsored." that's low.

"You can't do that, I'm suppose to help you not the counsel. I can't be involved in that. So how long would I have to continue to follow you around?"

"Am I that bad, that you don't want to be at my wedding?" Emily asked. "I know you hate me but I need you."

"And where the hell were you when I needed you? Oh right, with sam laughing at me behind my back."

"I never laughed about this, I wish that all of this were under better circumstances." she snapped.

"That makes this no better. I have barely gotten over the fact that you're together and you want me to pretend that none of it matters to me while I watch you marry the man that I am still in love with." I had to fight to keep my eyes off sam as I said that.

"Well like sam said you don't really have a choice. I need you and you have to help me regardless, we are family that's what family does. Besides, you promised me. Remember when we were younger and I promised to be your Maid of honor if you would be mine. You promised too Leah."

"Yes, that was before you wound up with Sam."

"Then you would be no better than me, I broke a promise I made you and you in turn would break your to me."

"I was 11 Emily, that is like promising to be best friends forever."

"We were well on our way to it…then this happened."

I hadn't realized I was crying until I started to hiccup. "Why am I being punished for this? I didn't do anything wrong yet I have to be so involved in your lives that it is killing me. You have everything I ever wanted the house, the perfect proposal, the wedding planning…Sam. How much more do I have to take before you'll just leave me alone?"

"This isn't a completion Leah, I didn't take these things from you on purpose I would give them back if I could but I couldn't give him up."

"Yeah, and I have to. Call me whiny call me immature but not many people would be able to put up with what I have since you disappeared sam." I wiped some tears from my face before continuing. "As far as this not being a competition, I tried to tell myself that for so long; you always got everything that you wanted. You were the perfect girly girl for my mother, the perfect tomboy for my father, the perfect babysitter, the best friend to everyone. You got everything-"

"I didn't ask-"

"I know you didn't ask for any of it at all, but you still have it. I had to try twice as hard to be noticed by people when you were with me. Then I met sam and I finally had someone that liked me. Someone that wanted to spend time with me…and you have him to…and you want to know there are two things that hurt me more than you two being together. The first is the fact that sam knew how insecure I was…still am. that and my own mother isn't comforting me, she told me to suck it up and move on…that is the last thing you want your mother to tell you when you get your heart broken. She took your side over mine, I'm her daughter not you but that didn't matter for her. No it was how immature I was acting."

"Why did you never tell me how you felt?"

"Why should I have? It wouldn't have stopped you if you're being honest about not being able to fight how you feel about sam."

"you didn't trust me." it was a simple statement but it was true she was like a sister to me but I could never let her as close to me as I had let sam and I would be sure to keep everyone at a distance now.

"No, I didn't trust you. From where I was it looked like you did it all on purpose. Everything that put a spark in my eyes you had to have, I am jealous of how perfect your life is turning out." there was no more fight left in my and I really wanted to leave. "I'll be you maid of honor Emily, only if afterwards you just leave me alone I will try my best not to ruin your big day, because you are right. We are family, but this is more than I can handle and I just want time to myself afterwards."

"I…thank you. For what it's worth I'm sorry."

"I know. Is that all you wanted from me today or is there something else I have to do?" I asked looking at sam.

"No, you can go." I was halfway out the door when he called me back. "Despite how we react to you, what you're doing for us is incredibly mature Leah. Thank you." I couldn't even find it in me to feel pleased at the compliment because I was far from happy about doing this and if they knew my thoughts, they wouldn't think of me as mature.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, there are a few strong themes in this chapter, I can't say to much without giving it away but I cried while writing this chapter because I know someone that has been through this not the same thing but similar. So yeah, that was your warning. **

**The usual disclaimers. I own nada. so I hope you enjoy. R&R**

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><p>Today had to be the beginning of the worse day of my life. It was the day that I had to begin helping Emily with her wedding. We had nine months left to get details down pat and she had wanted to do this perfectly. Meaning that all the parties and pre wedding crap was a must. What sucks the most is that I actually have to host all of the parties, meaning I have to attend all the parties with them. I had to wake up extra early this morning so that I could do my yoga before I went to meet her. I had promised that I would be on my best behavior for her, no matter how much I wanted to back out of this.<p>

It was windy as hell on the walk to Emily's; it was also eight in the morning. I was sure that they were still sleep but I figure the sooner we start the sooner we'd be done. "Sam? Emily?" I called when I had entered their house…unannounced of course. I was going to be here a lot so the least that they could do was get use to the fact that I wouldn't knock every time I came in.

"Yeah." Sam was looking at me from his bedroom door.

"Uh, Emily asked me to come over this morning."

"Oh, you're here really early though." It looked like he was trying to tell me something but I could read his face.

"Oh, well I can wait." Then it hit me like a brick through a glass window. "Oh…I um…have Emily call me later." I had started on my way out the door.

"Leah, wait do-" Emily stuck her head out of the door. I could tell then exactly what they were doing before I came. Her hair was a little mussed and her lips looked swollen.

"I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Wait, please it's my fault for not telling you when you should come over. I should have known you would want to get this done as soon as possible." she was looking into my eyes while I was studying her appearance. She looked like she had been thoroughly enjoying what ever Sam was doing to her.

"I…uh…just call me wh-"

"Just let me take a shower and I'll be ready…not even a full 15 minutes and I'll be back."

"Okay" I was hesitant and my chest was hurting but I we needed to do this. "I'll be on the porch."

"You can sit in the living room." she offered but I had never been further than their kitchen because I truly didn't want to see how cozy they were living.

"Go take you shower Emily I'll be on the porch." I was not giving in on this. I was already so far from my comfort zone just being here.

"I have to insist that you don't go back into the wind Leah, I know it's a lot to ask bu-" Sam had decided to take up the argument when Emily gave him a look.

"It being a lot has never stopped you from asking Sam."

"You can't keep running from this, I don't expect you to be able to stand the site of us for a long time and even longer after asking you to do this but you promised to behave and sulking in the cold is not the way to do that."

"Are you calling me a child?" I was looking at my feet.

"No I'm no-"

"I am you know, or at least I feel like it. It seems like I can't do what I need to in order to get to where I want to go. I feel like I need to rely on everyone else to move forward."

"You're a strong woman Leah, I may have said some harsh things to you but don't ever let what anyone says cause you emotional damage. I've caused you enough as it is."

"I don't hate you either."

"I know Leah; I hope I haven't lost you completely with this. I mean there is so much that I want to tell you but I can't. I wish it were you I was marrying." and there went my understanding.

"I told you before not to say things like that. Your marrying my cousin, you proposed to her not the other way around so don't do that. Don't give me hope because you and I both know that nothing is going to stop you from walking down that isle if it hasn't already. That isn't fair to me and it sure as hell isn't fair to her no matter what my feelings of her are."

"You want to mend this rift between you two." it was more of a statement than a question but I answered anyway.

"Yes."

"What is stopping you?"

"You know had this been different, had you waited to fall in love with her or at least to pursue her then I wouldn't have cared as much. A lot of this revolves around whatever it is that you can't tell me and the fact that you didn't even give us enough time to be over before you went after her." I said completely ignoring the question.

"That wasn't the question."

"I know."

"Are you going to answer it?"

"Not today, I think you have gotten me to open up to you enough considering our relationship status." I said with a smirk. I couldn't help but to open up around him, that was part of the reason we went so well together. It was annoying to know that he could get almost anything out of me even though we were nowhere near being friends.

"Alright, so what should we do first?" Emily asked emerging from her bedroom fully clothed. I was so glad she came when she did or else I probably would have said or done something that I would regret.

"Right, I think I'll leave you two alone. I have my cell Em call if you need me." he had begun to lean in for a kiss but paused obviously unsure of my reaction.

"Go ahead; I'm sure I have to get use to it." I grumbled.

"If it makes you uncomfortable we could just forgo the pda." Emily suggested.

"So your not going to kiss at your wedding?" that word left a funny taste in my mouth.

"She has a point Em."

"Stop being insensitive, you know how this is affecting her it's the least we could do to cut out on it if it's unnecessary."

"Hello, I'm in the room." they at least had the sense to look ashamed. "look, I will have plenty of time to loathe you existence after the wedding that I was forced into helping with but if your going to keep walking on eggshells like I'm going to flip out at any second then it's going to piss me off! I don't want to be pitied." I didn't mean to yell at them but I'm tired of this and I want it to be over.

"We're sorry but you jump hot and cold all the time I don't know what to do when your around and what not to do" Sam said as he wrapped his arm around Emily.

"Which is why I wanted to know what was going through your head when you asked me to do this." I paused trying to calm myself down, I still had nine more months of this shit to do and it would do me no good to get angry right now. "Can we just get started, the long we argue the longer it's going to take for us to plan Emily's dream wedding."

"Well, I'm off I'll be at Billy's if either of you need anything."

"okay." we said in unison.

"So what are we going to start with?" Emily asked. "I didn't think there was anything to do this far from the wedding."

"Neither did I but I looked it up and there is a shitload of crap to do before the wedding and during the wedding and a couple weeks after the wedding. I mean it is a lot of shit."

"You said that, did you bring a timeline or something?"

"Actually I did." I might not have wanted to do this but the part of me that wanted Emily happy knew that ruining any aspect of this wedding would be wrong. I had actually sat up sleeplessly for the whole week after they had asked me to do it weighing the pros and cons, which is how I realized that I wanted to fix things with them. It wouldn't happen to soon though because I didn't have the heart for it and I didn't have the headspace either. When I was finally able to leave Emily's house I went straight to Embry's hoping to take my mind off of all the shit I just had to talk about. I had just stopped in front of the huge custard paneled house, it was extremely ugly on the outside but inside was painted very beautifully. Embry's mother came from wealth and she used it. I didn't even check the garage to see if his mother was home, I just walked straight in and started looking for him.

"Lea-" shutting him up with my mouth while I reached for the buttons of his shirt. "what-"

"No talking, I need you."

"Was it really that bad?" he asked helping me with his shirt.

"Yes, now no more talking." I didn't have to tell him more than once as he pushed me up against the wall and attacked my neck. In almost record time, our clothes were on the floor and I was lying on the island in the kitchen. I had two orgasms and was approaching my third when we heard the tell tale signs of someone pulling into the long drive way. "Shit, hurry up or your going to be left hanging."

"shit." he mumbled into my shoulder speeding up his ministrations. We reached our peaks at the same time with no time at all to grab our clothes from the other room before Ms. Call walked in.

"what the hell are you doing here?" she was yelling at me but there wasn't much I was able to do about it this time, I mean here I was in her house on her counter with her son. Yeah that had to be a terrible thing to come home to. "Answer me damn it I could have sworn I told you to stay away from my son. You aren't welcome here and if you think I'm being me then sorry but I'm only doing you a favor. How many people are going to want to marry a woman that they think is a wasp."

"Excuse me? Are you calling me dirty? Because for your fucking information I'm not a whore, I have only been with two guys and one of them was Sam so don't you go getting all holier than thou on my because last I heard you are guilty of the exact same thing only with more than two men, or is it just a coincidence that Embry's father didn't want to own up to sleeping with you."

"Hey Leah, chill out that's my mother your talking about." Embry say restraining me as if I were actually going to hit the cunt.

"Well, maybe she should learn the repercussions of the pot calling the kettle black."

"Look, I'm not going to have you disrespecting my mother Leah. She takes enough crap as it is, she knows who my father is and I know who my father is it is really no one else's business outside of that." he was shaking a little.

"So she can sit there and call me a whore, the girl you claim to love but I can't defend myself?"

"Maybe if you were serious about us then she wouldn't be so upset but she knows there is nothing between us but sex. How is she supposed to look at it?"

"Are you calling me a whore too?"

"No, but I think maybe we should give it a rest. I mean I don't want to have to do this every time you and her cross paths especially not for someone that doesn't even want to be with me."

"So we're done?"

"I guess so."

"Fine." I said putting the last of my clothes on. "I'm terribly sorry for defending myself Ms. Call I'll show myself out." I couldn't believe that he had done that to me. I knew that he was a mama's boy but he had said that he loved me. This is just what I had needed, there went my stress relief.

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><p>I was a mess I had to deal with all of this without any help but I refused to be the little girl that couldn't handle things anymore. I was doing rather well too, we had been planning for a week and I didn't storm out of the house or break anything. I had a tantrum once or twice but I was beginning to actually look forward to the wedding, until I remember exactly who was getting married. Eventually the excitement wore off and I was dwelling more on the fact that I wasn't the bride.<p>

"So, everyone else thinks I should wear a white dress but I don't want to." I was trying really hard to listen to here but I had the most excruciating headache that I have ever had. "Are you okay? You have been nursing that headache for a long time"

"Yeah, I'm fine just a little stressed."

"I can't imagine how hard it must be for you I mean-"

"Don't Emily; just get on with the details of that dress." I said tuning her out as soon as she had started talking again. I was sure that she could tell that I wasn't as into it as I had been before. Who wouldn't be able to tell? You could see it in my face, I was tired all the time even though I slept like the dead almost as soon as I got home. I wasn't eating though, I couldn't find it in me to eat anything. I mainly just wanted to be left alone.

As the month went on it only got worse, I had started loosing to much weight, I was sore all the time, and because of all the stress, my period came a week to early. I could see the worry in everyone else's face but I paid it no mind. There was really nothing that I could do about it short of backing out something that I refused to do.

"Leah, we are just worried about you is all." Jake said passing me the remote.

"You don't have to worry about me Jake, I'm a big girl a little stress never hurt anyone."

"No it hasn't but you're not under a little stress. I mean do you even have a stress reliever?"

"Yeah, I come here and hide from the rest of the world that is telling me that I'm not taking care of myself." I snapped, "Look Jake I appreciate all of you guys being concerned for my health but I feel fine. And if you truly cared about stressing me out you wouldn't be pushing this conversation."

"Fine, there is food in the fridge, dad will be home soon but call if you need anything. I have to run out for a little bit." he had been telling me the same thing for the last month and a half. Of course I have been ignoring him and everyone else for that matter. I had been watching TV for the past hour on my own when I suddenly because cramping. It was so painful that it hurt to move, this had been a common thing since I had started loosing weight, the periods were accompanied by horrible cramps but this was by far the worse. I curled up on the couch in the fetal position praying that the pain would go away. It lessened it but not by much. I was crying now but I couldn't move to get my phone and call Jake so I stayed curled on the couch crying until I fell asleep.

When I woke up I noticed that I was a little restrained and I wasn't in the black's house. I was in a white room and I could smell sterilizer. When I was a little girl I had loved the smell but at the moment it was bothering me. I could just barely make out the sounds of whispers going on around me. When I finally opened my eyes, I could see that there were a lot of people around me.

"Oh, someone get the doctor she's awake." mom said leaping over to grab my hand. There was a flurry of movement as people shuffled closer to the bed and head peeked in the room when Jake left to get the nurse. "You had us so scared; I didn't know what I was going to do."

"Yeah, I was so scared that you had over worked yourself." Emily said from my other side with tears in her eyes. Before I had a chance to respond, the doctor came into the room.

"If you'll give me a moment with Leah." she asked and everyone made a move towards the door. She began again when the room was clear. "So how are you feeling?"

"Confused."

"What was the last thing you remember?"

"I had really bad cramps. I curled up to ease the pain and then I fell asleep."

"I see" she paused to mark something in her notepad "have you been experiencing stress lately?"

"Well if you count planning my ex boyfriends wedding stressful then yes." I was getting a little irritated and all the questions were getting on my nerves.

"Mhmm, and when was your last period?"

"Today was the last week. I haven't been bleeding that much but it's happened before when I got stressed out."

"Yes, and are you sexually active?"

"Yes, although I haven't had sex in what two…three months." the last time was when embry told me he wanted to call it quits.

"I see,-"

"Can you just tell me why I'm here?"

"Well, quite frankly Ms. Clearwater you were suffering from a miscarriage. The blood that you had during you cycle was actually the first stage of the miscarriage, your cervix wasn't dilated so we were able to stabilize both you and your child but your baby is still not out of the woods. We will have to wait another day to tell whether the baby will make it to the end of the first trimester."

"Does…does everyone else know?"

"It would be a little hard not to notice the machine monitoring your child's heartbeat." she said smiling.

"How far along am I?" I asked I was too shocked to react in any way now.

"You are about twelve weeks."

"And you say that you managed to save the baby? Is there anyway that I could get it …you know…"

"Unfortunately that would put more stress on you. That and the child is a little more developed I would help you schedule an appointment for a little later after your nourished but I warn you that by that time you will be over the first trimester period and medical based abortions will no longer be an option."

"Can't you just let I you know pass away tonight? I was miscarrying any way." there was the hysterical edge to my voice.

"Not without taxing your body a great deal and I will not help in an unethical Abortion. Not to mention that I could loose my license."

"I wouldn't tell, I wouldn't…please I'm 17 I can't be pregnant."

"I'm sorry. Just speak with me before you leave and we will set up an appointment." she said and then walked out the room.

I had absolutely no time to myself before the residence of la push burst through the door. "What did she say?" mom looked a little worried. I was beyond caring.

"Apparently I was miscarrying." It was weird to say aloud to my mother but she... no they all had already known.

"You're not upset about that at all, you almost lost a precious little baby." mom snapped.

"Don't get attached mom. I'm not keeping it. I have to wait until I have the doctor's clearance but I am getting an abortion as soon as I can." I said

"What?" it was the first time that I had noticed that he was in the room. However, I wasn't all to surprised it was his too. "You can't, Leah it's not just your baby."

"It's my body Embry." I snapped back at him. "And I don't want it."

"You would kill an innocent baby, our baby?"

"Better than bringing it into a world like this." I mumbled.

"Look if it's about how we left things then I'm sorry I over reacted."

"just what anyone girl wants embry to here a guy proclaiming their love for them after finding out he knocked her up."

"I'm sorry, I love you we could make this work."

"I don't love you though, I don't want to settle. I never want to settle. I told you that before." I hurt me to see tears in his eyes but I couldn't do this. It was way too much, how can I be upset that my ex is moving on while I'm having someone else's baby.

"You are a heartless bitch Leah Clearwater, that is an innocent baby my baby and your not even going to give me a chance to meet him or her."

"Are you done? Because I have made up my mind. I'm too young to have a baby, hell you're to young to have been brought into all of this shit anyway." I watched as he leaned up against the wall and wiped furiously at the tears in his eyes. I was shocked to see him pushed off the wall as if it had burned him. His steps were both deliberate and hesitant but I couldn't take my eyes off him while he was made his way to my bed. When he made it to the bottom of the bed, I had expected him to stop but he kept walking until he was standing where mom was. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. "What are you doing?" he had sunk to his knees by my bedside and grabbed my hand with one hand and the leg of the cart that had the baby monitor on it. He quietly placed my hand on me stomach while he positioned the monitor so that I could see it, then he pushed a button and I could hear a sound that tore my own heart.

"That is our baby Leah, please don't do that to him." he pleaded still on his knees. "He has a heart beat, no one wants to die and no baby deserves to. You may not love me but this isn't the answer." I couldn't help it I was crying as soon as I heard the heart beat.

"Please don't Embry I can't."

"Leah, I'm begging you. Please please don't get an abortion. I love you and don't care if you hate my guts. I can't let you kill our baby and those tears tell me that you don't really want to." I was sobbing badly and I knew that he was right. I just couldn't do it; everyone is right when they say that you really wouldn't know how to react to an unplanned pregnancy. I had sworn that I wouldn't even consider an abortion and here I was being talked out of one.

"I can't…" I was sobbing, "Embry I can't."

"You can because you are the bravest and strongest woman I know."

"I can't…do it…alone…I'm not that strong."

"But you are and you won't be alone. Listen to the heartbeat." I did just that for what seemed like forever the whole time tears spilled out of the corner of my eyes.

"If…if I keep him will you promise…don't leave me…you can't make me do it alone."

"I promise, Leah I swear that baby will be so loved. We may never be together but I will never leave you."

"Okay" I said between hiccupping and crying, "okay" I closed my eyes for a moment before I felt his lips on mine. I couldn't help but lean into the kiss, it was familiar and something that I had missed when I didn't have it.

"I think we should give them some space." I could vaguely hear Sam tell those who still in the room. There was more shuffling of feet and then we were alone.

"I promise I will be a constant in your life, so much so that you will get sick of me."

"Alright." I said with a dumb grin on my face when he crawled in the bed with me and rested near my stomach. We had both drifted to sleep to the sound of our baby's heartbeat.

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><p><strong>Okay now that you have read it, I am totally against abortion. I was really uncomfortable writing about it in the first place. Actually this entire story is putting me out of our comfort zone because I'm more of a rainbows sunshine writer, you know fixing all the imperfects that life offers through writing. So this was hard as hell to write. I would appreciate it if I could have a little more feed back than what I'm getting. I understand that when your reading the last thing you want to do is move from the page your on to review I have been guilty of that myself. I would be really happy if you did though, this being a new style of writing for me I'm a little nervous. And some of the things that happen in the stories like the beach scene actually happened to my other friend. Well they weren't at the beach but yeah…I hope you enjoyed it. <strong>

**Review please.**


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